


No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her

by X_Floukru_X



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Keep Fighting, Memori - Freeform, Near Death Experiences, Sea mechanic, lunaven - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-03 23:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10977432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/X_Floukru_X/pseuds/X_Floukru_X
Summary: Luna had let the darkness consume her, blinding her. Now on the verge of death, are the waves ready to take her?





	1. The waves are calling

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is just a short fix-it fic from that horrid episode. Hopefully you guys will enjoy this as much as I did writing it!

Darkness. Darkness was the only thing that surrounded her. She felt hollow and empty, but strangely it felt... freeing. Like she was floating on the calm waves of the sea, almost as light as air. 

There was this presence that she felt that was hovering over her. It was warm and kind, pulling her in. Suddenly, the darkness faded. In it's place was a twinkle of light, showcasing a silhouette. As it got closer, it turned out to be a small child. 

Golden waves of hair framed the small girl's silm face, as bright almond shaped eyes shown down at the women.

"Adria.." 

The child gave a soft smile as the women tried to reach her. She shook her head as the women's fingertips came inches away from her. "No, not yet."

The dark haired woman frowned upon her words. Not yet? Why? All she wanted to do was wrap her tightly in her arms, soothe her with warm kisses on her cheeks, and just cradle her protectively. God, how she had missed seeing her. She missed everything: her sweet laugh, her dimples, her dazzling smile.

She remembered how she used to sit with her along the railing of the oil rig, the strong smell of salt lingered in the air, as she would weave her hair gracefully into braids, telling her stories about the sea and it's mysteries. It pained her to remember how she would often teach her how to set out the fishing lines; bringing in an assortment of fish, shells, and other various items that would accommodate their needs. She remembered how they would bring in algae covered oysters, cracking them open with one swift wack, revealing beautiful pearls hidden beneath the dull shells. They would come in a various diversity of colors. There were creams, pinks, purples, and even blues. Adria favorite ones had been the mauve ones, stating that they were the prettiest. Adria's smile was always priceless, her eyes would light up as she would gently take the small pearls from thier casings, adding them to her growing collection. For each pearl that she had found, she believed that it would bring luck to people who needed it the most. Of course Luna had found this to be silly, foolish even, but she still managed to find herself embedded with finding those little buggers if it meant seeing Adria happy. Anything for her sweet Adria. She was the child she never had. And that damn radiation ripped her away from her.

"Don't cry. It will be okay."

Luna blinked, snapping out of the old memories. The visions were still fresh in her mind, replaying clearly. Each detail had been clear, she almost thought it was real. She hadn't realized she had been crying until she felt the hot tears sting her eyes.

Adria brought her hand to Luna's face and cupped her cheek. The Natbila leaned into the embrace as the child began to speak. "The waves aren't calling for you just yet, Luna."

"There's nothing left for me to live for." Luna muttered softly, dismissing Adria's statement. Tears now ran freely down her cheeks. She shook her head and swallowed. "Let the waves come, I'm ready." Her voice cracked as she tried to put on a fake smile.

The Floukru leader was done fighting. Being the sole survivor of her very clan took a great toll on her. The burden of knowing that you are the only one who was still left breathing was heartbreaking. She was their leader, their protector, and she failed them. She was supposed to keep them safe from any danger that came to challenge them, she had to be the one to watch over them. But she hadn't been able to keep that from happening. Death just sweeped in, wether it had been from it's hands or her very own, it had happened. And she was tired of it.

The child nodded sadly, understanding the pain and suffering that Luna had to go through day in and day out. It must be difficult, but that's what makes her strong. "I know it's hard. I know." Adria stroked the side of her hair, comforting her. "But you will overcome this. Make our deaths meaningful. Live for us." 

She brought her other hand down and rested it on the Floukru leader's stomach. "You need to fight." Adria gave her forehead a kiss and pressed down hardly onto the woman's stomach. "Fight the darkness."

There was an intense throbbing. A scorching, burning feeling swept across Luna's midsection, not seeming to subside. It was as if fire was present, scorching her insides, and violently tearing away at her flesh.

She gasped. Why couldn't she open her eyes? Why couldn't she move? It was as if something was holding her down, not allowing her to function. Then it hit her.

She was dying.

With all the strength she could muster, Luna struggled, making an attempt to get up, her blood caked hands tearing away at the wet gravel. She clawed at the ground, breathing heavily. Harsh coughing soon followed, obsidian liquid leaking down her chin and onto the pavement. She pushed herself up and sloppily wiped away the blood with her sleeve. Wet, damp curls fell in her face. Her left hand clutched her stomach as she wobbly gained her balance. A hiss escaped dry lips as she made contact with the raw and tender flesh, warm blood slipped through her fingers as she applied pressure. 

Their was no one around, the night sky and her determination was the only one keeping her company. Adria was no longer by her side. The Conclave must have ended quite some time ago... 

The Natbila's legs shook as she took steps forward, her head was spinning as it throbbed against her skull. She blinked her eyes, trying to focus her blurred vision. The strong taste of metalic lingered in her mouth, making it's presence known. 

She struggled with each step, every breath she took became uneven. More and more black blood steeped through her fingers as it trailed down her arm, mixing in with the crimson that stained her clothes. She didn't know where she was going, her legs taking her to an uncertain location. But that didn't matter, she needed to keep moving. Anywhere but here. She just knew she had to stop this bleeding.

Unable to stay upright any longer, she collapsed in the muddied ground, consumed by the slumberous yet again... 

***

"Come on." Emori smiled as she pressed her lips against John's, taking his hand. 

"Someone's in a hurry." He commented and smirked following her. "Not to fond with taking boats?"

"I'm not too much of a water person." She replied with a faint smirk of her own. "Glad to get off that horrid island." She huffed with a eye roll.

"Ah come on, it wasn't that bad." Murphy stated, wrapping his arm around her waist and brought her close. "Having some alone time, and getting to see my amazing cooking skills, I'd say it was worth it." He pressed a soft kiss on her temple.

The grounder laughed softly and smiled, bringing him into an passionate kiss. 

Emori and Murphy walked hand-in-hand, and stopped abruptly seeing something in the distance.

"What is-"

"Thats- that's Luna?!"

Both of them rushed over to see, confusion setting in. Murphy crouched down and placed two fingers on the girls neck while Emori suspiciously scanned the area. 

"She's still alive. But barely..." Murphy said looking up at his girlfriend and then back at Luna. A million thoughts swirled through his mind. "She's in her armor...that must mean..."

"The Conclave." Emori gasped, realization flooding in. "John, we need to go now." She tugged on his sleeve. There was a hint of panic in her eyes as she urged him to move.

"Lend me a hand." John ignored her and lifted the Natbila up, putting her arm over his shoulder. He ripped off some fabric from his shirt. He then wadded it up, placing it over her gash. 

"You can't be serious." Emori protested, a look of disgust on her face. "She's as good as dead! Where are we going to take her? There was a Conclave John! No one's going to help us heal her!"

"That's why we're taking her back to the island." He said simply, pressing down on the stab wound. 

Emori frowned but helped him anyway, knowing it was pointless to argue. She just wanted to get out of here. "Why are you doing this? You don't owe her anything."

"Because," he began as they carried Luna back to the boat, careful not to cause anymore damage. "She's the official Raven-sitter. And now, Raven needs her the most."


	2. You have to want it in order to achieve it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emori and Murphy rush to get Luna to Becca's island. Even if they get her there, will she make it? Will Raven's mind be the same as they left, or will she be to far gone?

Raven Reyes was sitting on a chair, her brows knitted together as her hands gripped onto a wrench, tightening away at the task at hand. She wiped away her forehead as it glistened with sweat. Once the bolt was safely secured on the sleek metal of the space helmet, she pushed herself backwards, making the rolling chair swerve to the nearest computer. She released the tool onto the desk, making it clatter against the surface. Her mahogany colored eyes scanned the computer screen, as her fingers typed away swiftly at the keyboard.

"If you keep up your pace at this miraculous level, you'll finish in no time, earning yourself your well deserved space walk." 

Becca was standing, hovering over Raven's personal space. Her hands were behind her back, clasped together and her unblinking eyes watched over Raven's every move. "Although, your progress would increase significantly if your seizures would diminish. You already had three today." Her stern, almost robotic-like voice echoed in her ear. "We don't have room for failure."

"Don't you think I know that?!" The mechanic snapped back at the hallucination that was standing beside her, growing irritated at her constant nagging. She let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back into the chair. She gave her aching hands a break as she pulled them away from the computer and rested them on her lap. 

Ever since she was left alone on the island, she spent all her time in Becca's lab, working nonstop. The continuous sharp pain that resigned in her head only grew stronger with each and every second that passed by. Of course there was still discomfort in her leg, but that didn't even compare to what she experienced with her head. 

"I'll run the tests for the rocket fuel combustion process in a bit, I just need to-" she cut off her train of thought as she heard commotion come from one of the doors being yanked open. "I thought I told you guys to leave me the hell alone." Raven growled with annoyance as she whipped her head around rather harshly to see who it was. 

Barging through the door came Murphy and Emori. They were frantic, Emori pushed passed Raven not even acknowledging her. She rushed to the nearest table, de-cluttering the surface with a swipe of her arms. 

Raven stood up abruptly, making the chair's wheels screech against the floor, upset about the unwelcome renovation of the lab. She turned her body, going to face Murphy. She wanted to tell him to get ahold of his crazy girlfriend but the words didn't come as she noticed what he had been carrying. Or who for that matter.

"Luna..." 

Time itself seemed to have slowed down, her voice was barely above a whisper as she layed her eyes on the unconscious women. Her once olive skin tone was now ghostly pale, having been drain from any color that she had. Her head laid limp against Murphy's shoulder as he carried her to the awaited table. Raven swallowed, taking in the scene before her, noticing the dried blood that draped over the Natbila's body like a cloak. A mixture of red and black laid apon her skin, caking itself to her clothes and body. 

"What happened?" Raven managed to get out, limping quickly towards the table. She hoped her voice didn't sound as desperate as she thought it did. "Is she..?" She stopped, not able to bring herself to fully ask the question. 

Murphy shook his head as he glanced up at Raven. "We were able to suppress the bleeding. We'll fill you in on what we know later. You have a med kit?"

"Yeah," she nodded her head, her eyes glued to the Floukru leader as she laid there. Her nerves were all over the place, not allowing herself to breathe. She had never seen Luna in this bad of condition, and honestly, it frightened her. She couldn't lose anyone else. "Yeah." She said again, trying to get ahold of herself and calm down. "Abby left one." She answered, not wasting any more time as she went to go get it. 

***

It had been hours since the three of them had been successfully able to repair the Natbila's wound to their best abilities. It wasn't the greatest, but it was something. At least she was stable. 

Murphy and Emori had decided to head over to the mansion, wanting some alone time after today's hectic events. Raven insisted to leave Luna in one of the rooms that was in the lab, stating that it would be the best option, for which she'll be able to check on her from time to time. The both of them didn't protest, leaving Raven to her wish. 

Murphy emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He took a much needed shower, washing away the unwanted dirt and blood from his body. He ran his fingers through his wet hair, brushing the strands away from his face. "You think she'll make it?" He heard Emori mutter as he entered the room. 

"Not sure. It's hard telling." He said, making his way over to her. He grabbed a fresh pair of pants and slipped them on. "But there's one thing that I'm certain of." Murphy stated and wrapped his arms around Emori from behind pulling her close. 

She leaned back into him and closed her eyes, taking in his clean scent. "Hmm?"

He grinned and rested his chin on top of her head. "We get to have this bed all to ourselves tonight. So I guess it was a good thing we found our way back here, huh?" 

"I suppose it wasn't too bad." She replied with a smirk, turning around to face him and gave him a kiss on his lips.

 

Raven was sitting next to the bed that Luna accompanied, her hands held onto Luna's firmly, not daring to release them. She was too worried that if she let go, the Natbila would vanish. She already did before. She watched the rise and fall of her breathing, happy that it was present. Raven hadn't left the other girl's side, hoping that she would wake up. The only time that she had awoken was when they were stitching her up. Raven had to hold her down, trying urgently to stop Luna's cries of anguish, as she thrashed against the table. But that was only briefly, for which she had passed out shortly afterwards, too exhausted from the pain and struggling.

Raven sighed as she brought her hand up to the women's face, and gently brushed away her curls from her eyelids. She remembered countless of times how they both would come and visit each other. After every bone marrow procedure. After every seizure. It didn't matter, as long as the other person was looked after. They wouldn't even bother to ask what the other was doing there, nor would they be surprised. Their frequent visits became the normal routine. In the time they had spent, Luna would never ask how Raven was doing. But she knew she didn't have to. Luna was always observing each and every moment, regardless if the person was paying attention or not. The 'how are you feeling?' question never left their lips because they already knew the answer. Luna would often stay longer then needed, sitting next to her as they would momentarily have a conversation. There wasn't too many words being spoken between the two women, but there didn't need to be. Having one's company was enough. Raven assumed it was because she'd rather not be with the others. She hadn't been too fond of anyone else on the island besides her she noticed. But she didn't blame her, she was the only one who viewed her as an actual human being and not some lab experiment. 

Sadly, this was different. In the past, they knew that they would wake up and recover, not having to worry about one's health. This time wasn't the case, it was a guessing game. Raven took Luna's hand, and brought it up to her lips as she placed a chaste kiss on her knuckles. She gave her hand a light squeeze and brought it back down to the bed. She hoped desperately that she would receive the action back, or for her eyes to open and let Raven know it would be okay, telling her that she didn't have to be in distress. Raven's request went unanswered as Luna's body was still motionless. 

"You're wasting our time for you too just sit here and sulk about one's uncertain guarantee of survival." 

Raven bit the inside of her cheek, already knowing that Becca was standing behind her, but she chose to ignore the hallucination's presence. She knew how testy Becca would get if the plans weren't followed according to her strict requirements. And being delayed definitely wasn't one of them to take lightly.

"According to my calculations, her chance at life isn't at the substantial requirement that it needs to be." Becca tried again, moving closer to the bed so she was in Raven's line of sight. "Leave her and get back to work." It wasn't a request, it was a order. "Don't you want your space walk?" Her voice was softer this time but there was still an edge to it, almost mocking.

"Get out of my head." Raven hissed, closing her eyes tightly. Right now she didn't want to deal with Becca. She just wanted to have a moment to herself, without the hallucination's consent presence tracking her down like a hawk. 

A sharp pain shot through her head, making her hands released Luna's and clutch the side of her temple. "Shit." Raven murmured, noticing the vermilion liquid dripping onto the bed. Panic-stricken, she rushed up, leaving the room. She stumbled, fumbling over her feet as she got into the main area of the lab. Even though she was moving, she felt detached from her body, making it seem like she wasn't controlling it. The tingling spread across her body, making it's way from her head to her toes. She was almost to the seizure kit, but she tripped, losing her footing. She would have surely of had met the floor if someone hadn't grabbed her. Confused, she glanced up, seeing who had caught her. 

"You're here." She breathed, staring the person directly in the eyes, overwhelmed with emotion. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, she wasn't sure if it was because of adrenaline or the shock that had washed over her body. She wanted to say more but her vision became fuzzy as the seizure took it's course... 

 

Raven groaned, holding her head as she slowly came back to her senses. She leaned back against the cabinet, her legs sprawled across the floor. She just needed a moment to gather herself and for the numbness to go away. She took a breath, attempting to control her shaking hands. 

"Why do you do this to yourself, Raven?" 

The mechanic could hear the sadness that was laced in the person's voice. They sat next to her, placing a warm touch to her shoulder. 

"I.." she turned her head, looking at the ground, as her fingers nervously toyed with the hem of her shirt. She didn't want to look at them, she couldn't bring herself to do so. "It's my body. My choice." She finally answered, hoping it was a good enough explanation. 

"Some choices are the wrong choices." They explained softly, squeezing her shoulder, making an effort to get her to look at them. "You shouldn't want to go out like this." 

Raven didn't respond, still not wanting to make eye contact. She brought her legs to her chest, and rested her chin on her knees. 

"You care about her, don't you?"

She nodded, still looking at the spot that she had been for the past few minutes. It was the door. She finally turned her head slightly, getting a glimpse at the person. "Yeah.." 

"Then why want her to fight for her life, if you're not fighting for yours?" Sinclair asked. "I didn't die so you could kill yourself."

"I'm not killing myself. I'm dying Sinclair, there's a difference." She responded, giving him a doleful look. 

He shook his head, not giving her statement a second thought. "The Raven Reyes I know doesn't quit, she keeps fighting." 

"What's happening to my brain isn't something you can fight..."

"How do you know?" He questioned. "Before you junk this beautiful mind of yours-" he gently tapped his finger on her forehead. "How about we look under the hood first? Kick start the tires? I'm guessing there's still a few good miles in there." 

Raven smiled at this, feeling her heart swell at his words. For the first time in a long time, she felt hopeful. 

"There's that smile that I was looking for." Sinclair praised, earning another one. "What do you say?" He got up, extending his hand out.

She took his offering without hesitation, and clasped his outstretched hand, pulling herself up. "Let's do it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was only going to make this a 2 part story, but I've decided to make it into a 3 part. I hope you guys enjoy this story so far :) It is a pleasure to write!


	3. It's a waiting game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As time passes, Luna's recovery is still uncertain. Will she be able to pull through?

"So you're sure this is going to work?" Murphy was leaning against a nearby wall, his hands tucked inside of his pockets. His eyebrow raised while he asked the question. 

Raven was scuffling around the lab, hurriedly carrying some equipment to the huge tank of water. She stopped, setting it down and began to tinker with it. "You're doubting my awesome abilities?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder, smirking at him. "That's a dangerous move there, Murph." 

John held his hands up in defense. "All I'm trying to say is how is stopping your heart going to fix your little head problem?" His voice wasn'ttoo enthusiastic, more bored than anything.

"Easy." Raven grinned, standing up, finished with getting everything ready. "A.I.L.E's code is still in my head," she motioned too her head, tapping her skull lightly. "Still capable of sending wavelengths to my cannabinoid receptors. Not like how it was, but it's still there. It's kinda like-" Raven paused, thinking of the right comparison, scrunching up her nose a bit. "-a virus that's living inside my head." She explained, not missing a beat, her words flowing easily. "A.I.L.E's code is feeding off of my brain, so each time my brain is running, the 'virus' is running too. So technically my mind is like a computer software that's got corrupted."

"So what do you do when computers get viruses?" Raven asked, but the question wasn't meant to be answered. "It's simple. When computers get viruses you usually have to terminate the existing files and start fresh, having a clean slate." 

Murphy's eyebrows knitted together, while he was processing this information. "So by making your heart stop, your 'rebooting' yourself. Giving your brain a new start." He replied slowly, making sure he got everything.

"Wow Murphy, I'm shocked. Even if I dumbed it down, I wasn't sure if you'd understand it." Raven teased, smirking faintly. 

"You'll be surprised, Reyes. I'm not as dumb as I look." He returned her smirk.

"Eh. I beg to differ." She shrugged, sitting down while she began to take off her leg brace. "You can be pretty dumb, nothing compared to my superior intelligence." She replied casually, unhooking the hinges on the brace. 

He rolled his eyes at her arrogance, but didn't say anything, letting her have her moment of pride. 

"I radioed Clarke. Her, Bellamy, Monty, and Harper are on their way." Murphy explained after she had finished with the brace. "They ran into some trouble with the Rover so they got a little delayed."

Raven looked up from what she was doing. "Clarke's on her way? Good. Did you tell her about Luna?" She asked, hopeful.

The last survivor of Floukru still hadn't woken up, still laying motionless in the other room. The only thing that had changed was now she was running a fever. A high one at that. 

"No, I didn't tell her about your little platonic lover." Murphy said dully, lifting himself off of the wall. "They have enough to worry about. I'm sure you could talk to Clarke about it later." 

She nodded reluctantly. She will just have to ask Clarke to look over Luna when they got there. Hopefully it would not be too late.

***

Raven's plan had worked flawlessly. With stopping her heart, she was able to finally get a grasp on her own mind again. The annoying presence of Becca no more. Sadly, she had to say goodbye to Sinclair again, but he would always have a special place in her heart. 

Clarke and the others had arrived an hour or so after. Echo was with them, she had saved them from a Grounder attack. Raven was happy that she did, she always knew that the Ice Grounder was rouge, usually not caring about others, so this act of kindness was quite a shock. It was a good shock though. 

They all came to the conclusion that heading back to Polis wasn't the greatest of intentions. For which, Bellamy had said there was too much conflict happening inside of the bunker. Also, the radiation levels had skyrocketed, the once blue skies were now a dirty yellow-orange color. The air was thick with radiation, one step outside and your skin would start to burn, peeling away effortlessly. There wasn't enough suits to head back either. So their best bet was going up. And Raven knew exactly how to get there. It would be hard yes, but since she had been working on the spaceship for quite sometime, it wouldn't be impossible. 

"Hey Clarke." The mechanic began, as she rounded the corner, joining the blonde. Her ponytail swooshing freely. "I need a favor." 

Wanheda whipped her head, looking at the other women as she approached. She was standing with the older Blake sibling, having a short conversation with the dark haired boy. "Yeah of course, what is it?" She asked eagerly, already willing to help. 

"I need you in the med bay." The brunette hastily explained, as she limped over towards the two leaders. Bellamy gave her a puzzled look but didn't say anything. "It's Luna."

"Wait Raven, Luna's here?" Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, glowering slightly. Bellamy shared the same look, his arms crossed. 

"Murphy and Emori found her a day ago. She nearly died. She still could. Clarke, she needs medical attention." Raven said looking up, her face a mix between desperation and anxiousness. 

"Nearly died? O nearly died." Bellamy spoke, stepping in, not giving Clarke a chance to speak. His facial expression was hard, his voice stern. "That Grounder was going to kill everyone. Kill Octavia. My sister!" 

Raven shook her head, not listening to his statement. "That wasn't her. She's not like that." She tried to explain, pushing away his protest. 

"The hell it wasn't!" He snapped back, already growing irritated by the passing minute. "You weren't there Raven. That Nightblood didn't give a damn about who lived and who died. She fought for death. Said so herself. She was going to take the bunker for herself and let everyone perish in Praimfaya." He explained coldly. "It's not my fault that you were stuck in here playing lab assistant to not notice what was happening." 

"Excuse me?" Raven stepped closer to him, scowling up at him as she invaded his personal space. "If I'm not mistaken, it's always me to save everyone's asses, time after time. Without me you wouldn't be going up to the Ark, now would you?" 

"Guys stop." Clarke said urgently, stepping in between the two, attempting to control this dispute before it got out of hand. She knew with Raven it was hard telling what could happen. She was like a loaded gun, ready to release at any moment. 

"Bellamy." She warned, shooting him a firm look as he was about to speak. He reluctantly closed his mouth, huffing out a sharp breath. 

Clarke then turned her attention to Raven. "Look, all he is trying to say is that Luna was different. She was colder than before." She went to place her hand on Raven's shoulder, attempting to calm the wild mechanic down. "She killed Roan and many others. If Octavia-" 

"You think I care?" Raven seethed, clenching her jaw as she pushed Clarke's touch away. "She's not some kind of villain! You two act like you haven't killed people before." She shot back, glaring at the two of them. She knew that was a low blow, but she needed to get her point across. "My ship. My rules. And Luna's getting a seat or it's not flying." She crossed her arms, shifting more weight as she leaned more on her good leg. 

A sigh escaped Clarke's lips as she ran her hand over her tired face. She knew that the Reyes girl had a stubborn streak almost as bad as her temper. Reasoning with her when her beliefs were strong wouldn't be an easy task. 

"Please Clarke." Raven tried again, her voice much softer than before. "I can't lose anyone else." A rare look of helplessness rested apon her face as she nearly whispered the last part. 

Clarke knew that look well. She knew now that the Floukru leader meant more to Raven then just another face. She was special to her. "Alright." She finally said, agreeing to the terms. "Take me to her." 

Raven released the breath that she didn't know that she was holding. Relief swept over her, thankful for her friend's response. 

Clarke gave Bellamy a swift nod as she departed, following closely behind Raven as she lead her to the med bay. 

Once there, Clarke slipped past the door and made her way over to the bed. Raven stood back in the corner, watching intently. She observed quietly as Clarke looked over the sleeping women.

"She'll need to have her wound dressed." The blonde placed her cool hand on Luna's forehead, frowning slightly as she felt the heat. "There could be an infection. Maybe not. Nightbloods usually run at a higher temperature than the normal person." She explained, kicking into doctor mode as she removed her hand. "It may just be her body overworking as it's trying to heal."

Raven nodded, listening to Clarke's clarification. She bit her lip nervously, her hands tapping restlessly against the wall. She needed something to keep busy, too keep her mind at rest. She was growing more and more anxious awaiting to hear about Luna.

"She'll also need a blood transfusion. That'll help tremendously." She added. By the looks of it, the Natbila had lost quite a bit of blood. Her body was slow to replenish it's supply, too weak from working nonstop in attempt to try and mend itself. "Go get everything I need so I can start on that." 

Raven didn't say a word as she eagerly left to go get the supplies. She knew Clarke was good at what she does, if anyone could make Luna better, it was her. Raven had her full trust in Clarke. The very thought of Luna reaching the road to recovery was now in reach. Raven was confident that the Floukru leader would be back to her normal self in no time. It was just a waiting game now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's chapter 3! Hope it was as good as the last few! I know that there still isn't a lot of sea mechanic fluff, but don't worry, next chapter you won't be disappointed :)
> 
> If you have any thoughts and/or questions make sure you leave a comment. Or you could message me at my Tumblr @xxcomanderhedaxx :)


	4. Only in the darkness can you see the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is.
> 
> -Marianne Williamson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say thank you for everyone who had taken their time and left a kudos and commented on this story. I really appreciate your kind words and support! You guys are amazing! <3 Now without further ado, here's the next chapter! :)
> 
> Any Trigedasleng translations will be at the end note.

Raven and the others had made great progress on getting ready to head up to the Ark. Of course there was still stuff that needed to be done, but all the commotion had died down, giving her a chance to breathe. 

She found herself headed over to the med bay. She limped hurriedly, moving past Echo and Emori as they worked on the task that they had been assigned. 

The mechanic went down the hall, opening the door. Her ponytail swooshing freely as she slipped inside. Her brown eyes fell on Luna. Since undergoing the treatment, the Floukru girl had improved. She now had color, giving her face more of a glow. Her fever had dropped, but still lingered from time to time. It wasn't as bad as it has been. Clarke had worked her magic.

The curly haired woman began to stir, moving restless as she came too. Her eyes were wide, as frantic Trigedasleng flowed from her lips. 

At first, Raven thought it was just her imagination playing mind games on her. Her heart skipped a beat, realizing that it wasn't. She rushed over to the girl's side.

"Hey. It's okay. Luna it's alright." Raven cooed, grabbing onto Luna's shoulders trying to calm her down. She knew Luna was probably confused, scared even. Waking up in a place and not knowing how you had gotten there had to be alarming.

"Raven?" Came a uncertain response, her voice cracked. It was hoarse from not speaking for days. "What happened?" She managed to get out as she blinked at Raven.

"Here." Raven said as she handed Luna a glass of water that had been sitting on the nightstand. Her left hand rested on Luna's back. She ran it in a circular motion, comforting the women, calming her down.

She grabbed it hungrily, tearing it away from her hand, wasting no time to bring the glass up to her mouth. Water ran down her skin as she gulped away the liquid. She was so parched, her taste buds nearly screamed in pleasure as she devoured the water.

"Emori and Murphy found you, and brought you here." The mechanic explained, taking the empty glass and placed it on a nearby table. She took a seat on the edge of the bed. "We tried our best to patch you up..." She stopped as she noticed Luna glancing at her stomach, lifting up her shirt a tiny bit as her hand brushed over the bandage that wrapped around the area. The white of the cotton gauze had a small amount of dried blood. Her eyes then averted towards her arms, noticing tubes were connected to them. She began to panic, clenching onto them with her fists and attempted to pull them out. 

"Hey, no." Raven reached over quickly towards her, pulling her hands away. "No it's fine. You're not giving blood, you're receiving it." She gave her a reassuring smile. "Clarke was able to give you a blood transfusion. You know, since she's a nightblood now. It saved your life." 

Luna began to relax, settling down. Sepia colored eyes flickered up at Raven's. "How long was I asleep?" 

"About two days."

The Natbila nodded, taking in the information that she was given. But then she frowned, grimacing shortly afterwards. Most likely due to discomfort. "I didn't deserved to be saved. They should have left me."

"Hey, don't say that. You are worth saving Luna." Raven protested, disagreeing with her stubbornness.

"I wanted death Raven." Luna remarked, narrowing her eyes. "The darkness consumed me. I fought for blood." She shook her head. "I wanted to kill Octavia, your own people. You still think I was worth saving?" She snapped slightly, glancing away. 

"Luna," Raven reached out, bringing her chin up so she could look at her. "That wasn't you. I know you. That was just the darkness taking over. You're not that person."

"I killed Roan. Drowned him in black rain as his skin burned away from his flesh." Her eyes darkened. The words came out casually. "I'm a monster Raven."

"We all have done things that we regret, we just have to fight our demons. They don't control us." Raven tried again, praying that she would listen.

"I can't drown my demons because they know how to swim." Luna muttered, averting her glaze. It was true, she had been able to diminish her demons once before, but they came back. More forceful this time. That was one of the reasons why she had left her first Conclave. She knew what she was capable of. She knew that there was a darkness that lurked inside of her. It first appeared when she drove her sword into her brother, ending his life. That's why she had fled. She had made a commitment to not kill again, afraid of what she would become. What she had been becoming. But from all the bone marrow procedures, all the deaths, the darkness slowly came back. Each and every day it provoked her until she finally broke, giving in. 

The Natbila let out a shakey breath, leaning back against the headboard. She closed her eyes briefly, her jaw clenched. "Because of the color that I bleed, I was trained to kill. Me and my brother had swords in our hands at the age of three. Our nomon and nontu were killed for trying to hide us. We were taken to Polis. Each and every day we would train until our bodies ached so much that we couldn't even stand." 

"During the first round of the Conclave, I impaled my brother with my own sword. Watched as he died in my arms. The sad thing wasn't because he had died, it was because I didn't regret doing it. One of us was bound to die, and I wanted it to be him." Luna paused, locking eyes with Raven. "I fled because I knew what I was. All that I was good for was killing. I sought out for a better life, but apparently you can't run from what you are. It just comes back and haunts you." 

"You're still a good person Luna. Regardless of being a Natblida or not." Raven placed her hand on her chest, over her heart. "You still have one of these. I know you do." 

Luna looked away. Was Raven right? After all she's done, was she still capable of having a heart? Or was it just a hopeless thought? 

Raven exhaled and removed her hand. She knew that Luna was done talking, not wanting to hear anymore. Her body was tense, her arms crossed. Her lips were sealed shut, not daring to open. 

Silence swept across the room. Both girls didn't talk. The only sound that was present was the faint ticking of the clock, or the rustle of the sheets that laid underneath Luna as she moved, stretching out her stiff joints. 

Luna observed Raven carefully, noticing that she was shaking her leg slightly. She was somewhat restless. The Floukru leader placed her hand on top of her leg, ceasing the fidgety motion. 

"Something else is on your mind." She stated, changing the subject. She knew body language well, and since it was her good leg that she was moving, it must be because something was eating away at her and not because of discomfort. "Speak to me." Luna muttered softly.

Raven averted her eyes briefly. She swallowed, finally looking at Luna. "You left without saying goodbye." 

And it was true. After the little dispute that she had with Roan, Raven wanted to check on her after another bone marrow procedure. She did, but she was sleeping while Abby finished up. So the next morning she tried again, but the Natbila was no where to be seen. Gone without a trace. Abby had explained to her that they didn't need anymore of Luna's help so she was free to go. It was the first opportunity of freedom and she ran with it.

"I suppose I did." Luna commented, confirming Raven's statement. She shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable, ignoring the pain that washed over her.

Raven waited for her to continue, hoping that she would say more but it never came, so she started speaking again. "I just thought with the relationship that we had, whatever that might of have been, you would of at least had let me know that you were leaving." She explained, frowning slightly as she glanced at the floor then back to her.

Luna was silent for a moment, taking in what she had said. She finally spoke but her expression was hard. Her eyes flickered. "I didn't want to say goodbye to you."

She flinched at the blunt confession, taken aback by the words. "W-what?" She stammered. She looked at Luna, trying to get a read on the sea girl. She couldn't have meant that right? After all that they had been through?

She had looked directly in her eyes when she had said it, her lips in a straight line. Her voice unwavering. 

Raven knew that this conversation was probably going to go no where. She sighed and was about to get up but Luna began talking again.

"I couldn't say goodbye." She corrected herself and then paused, glancing at Raven. She sighed, taking Raven's hands into her own. "I couldn't bring myself to do it." 

"I thought," The Floukru leader looked away for a brief moment. "I thought it would be better." 

The mechanic listen carefully to the other women's explanation, realizing that the Natbila didn't mean to hurt her in the first place. It wasn't her intentions to do so.

"If I left without saying goodbye, I didn't have to face my fear.." 

Raven tilted her head slightly, frowning. Luna was afraid? "Fear from what?" 

Luna let out a shakey breath, taking Raven's hands and moved her thumb over the back of her hand affectionately. "You would have told me to stay... I couldn't. I...I was already growing attached to being around you." She paused. "I was angry Raven. So angry." Her voice sounded tired, strained almost. "Skaikru fueled my hatred, using me. Using my blood." She scowled, her features twisting bitterly. 

Raven was saddened by Luna's words. Not because of the disrespect that her people were getting- they deserved it, but from Luna's point of view. It was true. All her people cared about was the black that ran through the Natbila's veins, they didn't give a damn about her rights. Her human rights. She was just a blood bag to them. 

"I couldn't stand being around Skaikru, they made me sick. All but you." She said the last part softly, the trace of any bitterness gone. 

"I've lost too much. All the people I cared about died. I couldn't afford to get more invested in what we had. I'm broken Raven. Where ever I go, death follows. I'll just be a burden to you." 

"You're forgetting that I'm broken too." Raven gave a humorless laugh as she motioned over towards her leg. "But that's okay, wanna know why? Two broken pieces make a whole. They complete each other. We can overcome it together." Raven gave Luna a small smile, nudging her gently. 

Luna sighed, but a tiny smile made itself known as it slowly spread across her lips. Maybe Raven was right. Facing things alone was difficult, impossible even, but when you have someone to lean on, it gets easier. So maybe there was hope to get free from this unbearable darkness.

After that, both girls started to catch up. Raven explained how with Praimfaya only a day away, it would be better to make their way up to space to the Ark. At first, the thought of living where Skaikru originated from made her skeptical. Never would she had thought she would be living in the stars in a metal ring. But she'd rather live up there than in a bunker that was underneath the ground. She didn't want to live like Maunon. 

"I'm glad that you're okay."

The two girls found themselves closer, Luna smiled a toothless grin and rested her forehead on Raven's. They stayed sitting there, not moving, their fingers intertwined and eyes closed. It was so quiet, they could hear their calm breathes syncing with one another. Luna felt this pull, she wanted to be closer. It was the same feeling that she got when they both were on the beach, sharing that touching moment together.

She remembered that moment so vividly. The two of them standing on the soft damp sand, while the calm waves lapped up against the shore. No one else, just them. The breeze drifted with the smell of sulfury, with just a pinch of green, and a briny finish. A scent that she had grown accustomed too. A smell of home. 

Never in a million years did Luna think that ten simple words could make this moment so special.

'Its not your blood that defines you, it's your heart.' 

The words were genuine and humble. Flowing unflustered, like gentle water running seamlessly against the gritty sands of the ocean.

The two women stood there, strangers then, but they understood ones morals, taking them into consideration. Luna knew then that Raven was different than her people of Skaikru. She was the good that Nyko was talking about. She had seen that. That day Raven had left an unknowing mark on the Floukru leader, one that she'll never forget.

Luna's eyes fluttered open, glancing at the mechanic's lips as she bit her own. Did she want to kiss her? She wasn't sure, half of her did and half of her didn't. Did she like Raven? Yes, of course. Without a doubt. Did she love her? Possibly. Yet it was hard telling, her feelings were in a confusing and uncertain state.

Luna closed her eyes again and took in a inward breath. She gave Raven's hands a light squeeze, before receiving one herself. Just like before, she wasn't strong enough. She couldn't bring herself to do it. So she did the next best thing. She lifted her forehead off of Raven's and placed a gentle kiss in its place. 

"Promise me." Raven then spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes shown into Luna's, dazzling with a hint of uneasiness. They glistened with unshed tears. "Promise me that you won't leave me, that you will stay." 

Being vulnerable was something that Raven didn't show, not since Finn or Sinclair. Hell, even Wick. It made her feel weak and feeble. She built up a high wall, guarding her feelings and emotions. She didn't need anyone. But here she was, in this fragile state, allowing Luna to see this side of her. She allowed Luna to break down those walls. 

The Grounder cupped the side of her face, and brushed away a single tear that had fallen. She stared into her eyes before speaking. "Feva en otaim." The words were delicate as she spoke them. 

"Kamp raun." She then muttered quietly, and buried her head in between the crook of her neck. Luna wrapped her arms around Raven's waist and pulled her close. "Fou daun kom ai." The words of her native tongue flowed effortlessly. She took in her sweet scent before adding, this time in English. "Just until I fall asleep." 

Luna could already feel her eyes growing tired, her body still weak from the amount of trama it's been through. But she didn't want to be left alone just yet, still wanting the closeness of the other girl. It was selfish of her, she knew that. Raven still had work to do, she knew that too. But right now, it didn't matter, she just wanted company. Her company. 

Raven nodded wordlessly. She wasn't fluent in Trigedasleng, only understanding bits and pieces, but it was enough to understand what Luna wanted. She moved, getting comfortable as they now both laid on the bed. The both of them laid there, sharing one's body heat, as it radiated off of them. Raven rested her head on Luna's shoulder, snuggled closely against her, but not too close, careful not to cause her any pain. Her fingers softly traced the tribal tattoo that marked her arm, moving back and forth. "I've missed this." She whispered tenderly after some time, admitting that she wasn't the only one to miss each other's intimacy. 

Raven thought Luna had fallen asleep when she didn't get a response back right away. But she was wrong when she felt the girl move closer, tightening her grip protectively. "Me too." Came the short reply, that was muffled with sleep. Her wild curls fell over her closed eyes, blocking the view of her face. Raven also noticed that Luna had tensed up, probably do too the tenderness that her wound may have caused with the sudden movement. 

Raven smiled a warm smile as she brushed her hair out from her face. Luna's body relaxed at the touch, her muscles loosening, becoming less stiff. "Wanna know the one thing that I'm looking forward to the most with spending five years up in space with you?" Raven asked softly, but you could still hear the excitement that was in her voice. She was almost like a child, eager to explain her thoughts. 

"Hmm?" The Natbila muttered. She lazily brought her hand up, undoing Raven's signature ponytail. She ran her fingers through the soft hair as she waited for the reply. 

Raven was unfazed by the other girl's actions, still smiling as she glanced at her. "I get to show you the very thing your named after." She said breathlessly. 

Luna chuckled slightly at this, amused by the mechanic's reasoning. She ignored the burning sensation that swept across her midsection that the laughing caused. "I see the moon all the time." 

She shook her head, taking one of Luna's free hands in her own. "No, not like this. You and me are going on a space walk." 

"A space walk?" She echoed, frowning slightly at the foreign Skaikru term. She heard of it before but still didn't know the meaning. And by the way Raven's eyes lit up when she said it, it must be special to the other girl. "Explain it too me, little bird." She muttered quietly closing her eyes again as her fingers continued to comb through umber locks. 

"Well," Raven began as she nuzzled closer, getting more comfortable. "You're tied up to tethers; ropes that are connected to your spacesuit as you go out into space." She told her. "It's like you're hovering, floating almost as you are surrounded by unless amounts of stars. You feel weightless."

"Kinda like swimming?" Luna questioned, mumbling against her skin, trying to picture the idea that Raven was trying to get across. 

"Exactly." She praised. "So I know for a fact that you will enjoy it. Seeing the moon up close is a sight too see. I can't wait to share it with you." 

The faint sound of gentle breathes was the response that Raven had gotten. Sleep had consumed Luna, making her drift off in a peaceful slumber. The steady rise and fall of her chest was the only movement that was present.

The mechanic beamed at the sight. She stayed there quietly for a few minutes, enjoying the time that she was accompanying with Luna. 

"I'll wake you up once it's time to launch." She whispered, already knowing that her response would fall to death ears. She got up carefully and placed a kiss on the sleeping girls head. She took one last glance as she slipped through the door, making her way to finish the awaited spaceship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed reading this! This chapter was the longest and fun too write! Until now this is the last chapter sadly. But if you guys would like for me to continue this please let me know! Give me some ideas on what you would like me to write if this does continue! :) 
> 
> Trigedasleng translations:  
> Nomon=Mother  
>  Nontu=Father  
> Feva en otaim=Forever and always  
> Kamp raun=Stay near   
> Fou daun kom ai=Lay down with me

**Author's Note:**

> There will probably be just one more chapter after this one. Please let me know how I did! Your feedback is my motivation.


End file.
